I get this a lot. When I talk about something wild and crazy – like not shaving, or thinking it should be ok for women to date shorter men, or fat-acceptance and fatphobia, or not plucking my eyebrows. People say “well, it’s easy for you…” because! Because you’ve got it all, Sammy. Your body hair is so blonde, I could never get away with that. You’re so short, you’ll never have to date a guy shorter than you! You’re not fat! If you were fat you’d feel differently. Sammy, even your eyebrows look great!

I think about this a lot. Do people just want to dismiss these beliefs I hold? – does this only happen to me? Maybe it’s a way to make me feel better – I’m not as radical as I think, or something? Is it because people just want to make excuses for themselves? “My hair is SO gross, you can barely see yours!” I think I felt like it’s a way for people to delegitimize where I’m coming from. Since I’ve never struggled with being overweight, I must not have any body issues, right? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel, what people are thinking when this happens. The other day I viewed it differently – is this a form of privilege? Conventional beauty norms or something? I think if I view it like that, it only feeds into the standards we all grew up with – there’s one way to be, and well, sammy you’re so lucky! It’s easy to have these pseudo-radical beliefs because you fit in so well to the system! You’re so short and cute! If you were really tall, you’d understand. I guess these conversations inadvertently legitimize those standards, in a way. Because being fat it so bad to be, and being thin is so good so surely I just don’ get it. If I believe what they’re saying – that I’ve got it easy for some reason – it means those standards are real – and yes, they are. The rhetoric falls apart when we get to “irl.” But I don’t want that to be. I guess that’s the whole point.

And hey. Maybe there’s more to this. I can be inconspicuous about lots of these beliefs – I know. I don’t stand out all that much. I am pretty gender-conforming, for the most part. I’m not putting myself in any danger when I decide not to shave, for example, because I conform to lots of other standards. Being white and straight and sometimes wearing skirts or something. I don’t stand out. If I wasn’t wearing a bra when all these discussions were going on, would it means something else? I mean – if a girl with tiny breasts doesn’t wear a bra – because she opposes them ideologically and so on – do people say “well, it’s easy for you, you’re tits are so perky! I didn’t even notice!” I’m sure. And well, er, nobody would say that to me if I stuck to my laurels and threw those garments in the garbage. I think I’m slowly owning up to the idea that people say those things to me and make those excuses for me because they’re sort of true. And maybe this goes many ways – making these decisions and having these beliefs might not have come first. Maybe I’m making them because they are sort of easy for me to make – because I know people will tell me they are.